The Heart Makes Human… Too!

by roar 

I had most of the time been mental

With no room for the emotional

At times when I must be feeling elated or dismal

I set aside my passion and became rational.

Too much reason I thought made me anthropical

For that what distinguished me from the animal

But oblivious of my being corporeal

Equates to forgetting I am no purely spiritual.

Dealing now with my nature passional

And confronting what I for a time thought nonsensical

Is making me more and more an individual

Whose heart is at last integral and essential.

Incredible

A poem based on what transpired spiritually to a wretched soul

during the Day of Adoration at the Mary Help of Christians College Seminary

on the Memorial of St. Jean-Marie Vianney

by roar

Rays shining forth from within

Sparkles of gold glittering and blinding

On knees bended and palms together

Stuck in amazement at the presence of the Other

Whose mercy is extraordinary and love incredible

Joyful tears released like happy rain

But sobbing and moaning and unrelenting

“Depart from me Lord for I am sinful”

So great a gap between You and a fool

But Your mercy is extraordinary and love incredible

Attentive ears of that purple stole

And graceful words synched with a wretched soul

Persistently latent from my vision

You manifest You surely in compassion

For your mercy is extraordinary and love incredible

Tour P

by roar


We'd never be together
I'd never have the courage to say
I'd want to stay beside you
But I think I'm forever afraid

One time, I missed you so much
And so I started to think
How I would text you
And what kind of greeting I would use

Also thought about your interests
So I could plan ahead
How the conversation would go
Until there is no more

Our texting ended so quick
Yet I still haven't told you
How much I like you
How much I fall for you

I just laid on my back
While staring at the groupie we had
And thought that this picture's better cropped
So all I see is you and me.

Can't hold on this phone like this for long
But they'll catch me if I don't let go
So I'll just press my home button
And then I am all alone.

I checked on my inbox once again
And reminisce all emotions I could gather
When you say sweet friendly words to me
Though I deny all the feelings I have for you.

I read them. Slowly.
And my heart beats. Quickly.
I want to start another text convo
But I'm not prepared of the things we would talk about.

This phone is all I need
To remind me of our relationship
I can journey through the road of love.
I can have a tour of my passion.

Cropped pictures.
Steady inbox messages.
These already complete me.
Because shyness has chained me.

Cropped pictures.
Steady inbox messages.
These actually empty me.
Because deep inside, it's you and your words that truly make me whole.

Bayambang Apostolate

Bayambang, we've built a friendship so quick and strong.
We've created memories to last for long.
You accepted me with open arms.
You'll always remain in my open heart.

First and last sunrise we see in Bayambang during our summer apostolate.

A Hundred Poems

by roar


I could make hundred poems more
But I could not change this fact for
Bearing witness's the bright half moon
You'll pack your bags, leave us so soon

I could make hundred poems more
The tiger in me scream a roar
But tiger's tiger when only
You are around fighting for me

I could make hundred poems more
Yet what remains is your heart's door
Open to us relieving us
You that lead us to Jesus' Mass

I could make hundred poems more
And prayers these lines reassure
The times we shared and jokes we raised
You I could thank in hundred ways

I could make hundred poems more
But know that thousand I'd endure
For what is million if what's lost
Is you without whom soul is frost.

(c)Ode to Fr Roland Decoded

by roar


N.B. This is my real testimonial to Fr. Roland. This shows answers and explanations to the codes included in the poem "(c)Ode to Fr Roland" published in roarthepoet.blogspot.com/2016/05/code-to-fr-roland.html?m=1


Line 1
Fr. Eric Galivo, who's more commonly known as Fr. B, was my parish priest before Fr. Roland.
Line 2
St. John Bosco left us a title to refer to the mother of our Lord, the patron of our seminary, the HELP OF CHRISTIANS.
Line 3
T stands for Ton, shorthand for Anthony, our beloved father's second name. He is father of one big barangay called BONUAN GUESET.
Line 4
Fr. Ton was assistant parish priest in SAN FABIAN before he came to DAGUPAN CITY... with love.

Line 5-6
I remember Fr. ROLAND ANTHONY SAJONAS-GAVINA once said that to be parish priest of a small parish is harder than to be assistant in a big parish.
Line 7-8
He celebrated Masses and brought JESUS CHRIST to many puroks in the area.

Line 9-12
Guided by MAMA MARY, Fr Ton has done all things, great and small, including finishing the tedious MASTERS OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION.

Line 13-14
As an academic requirement, he created a PEANUT BUTTER, a spread which I never liked until I tasted an exceptionally made PB by the jolly priest. Jolly bee?
Line 15-16
He used to joke around with me telling me to deliver a HOMILY. One time I jumped to my feet to read the Missal only to find out that it was just a joke! Fool of me! Hahaha. Fooled me.

Line 17-20
After morning Masses, you'd never fail to realize how our FOUR-YEAR priest who hails from BARANG, MALASIQUI values vocation by always extending an invitation to seminarians to eat breakfast with him after Mass. Of course, I would also not fail to see Jesus in him whenever I realize that this was similar to Jesus' invitation to Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, James, John and the other disciples after the miraculous catch of fish (Jn 21:12).
Line 21-24
With tears in the eyes, we regret to hear that he's having a new assignment. The ANNUCIATION OF THE LORD PARISH will miss you, Fr! Regards to your next sons, the MHC Minor Seminarians.

Line 25-28
Fr. MANUEL DELOS SANTOS, pastor of CRISTO DIVINO TESORO PARISH, is transferring to our barangay-parish. With his arrival, we give you, Fr. Roland, our hearts, and our wishes that you continue to show the Lord's mercy and be Christ's loving heart to those entrusted to you.


P.S. Masakit man, pero si God na po ang bahala. Bibisitahin ka namin, Fr! Sure 'yan!

(c)Ode to Fr Roland

by roar


I came when B was parish priest
To H C recommended me
Then T came to watch o'er B G
From S F to D C with love

A challenge to R A S G
Coz he's a single father of
A parish hungry for J C
Who died, rose and no more to die

By all his means he fed his flock
This Ton who gave his all and much
Him under M M's patronage
His M B A and projects done

The P B that he made one time
Was excellent, beyond compare
To death he scares me when he says
"Ikaw mag-H ah, kabalens!"

The words the Son spoke at the shore
Words from a B M priest of 4
"Come, stay and eat your breakfast here"
When "Go in peace!" is loudly said

Now he's assigned to nearby town
He will be truly surely missed
Your A L P, your family
Prays well for you and your next sons.

Awaiting for the coming of
M D S of C D T P
We wish you all the best in life
May you be always the Lord's heart


P.S. Find answers in "(c)Ode to Fr Roland Decoded" http://roarthepoet.blogspot.com/2016/05/code-to-fr-roland-decoded.html?m=1

MU

by roar


Mystically unbounded
Much unoccupied
Merrily unchained
Master of the Universe

Mind unpressured
Mostly undefined
More upsetting
Mountainous utopia

Mankind uncommitted
Mimicking unity
Marriage unprepared
Melody unsung

Mutual understanding
Misunderstanding unending

Alam mo ba?

ni roar

Alam mo bang ang sakit?
Ang sakit ng loob kong
Malaman na di pala ako ang mahal mo.
Ang sakit ng loob kong
Maghintay kahit wala naman akong hinihintay.
Ang sakit ng loob kong
Magsinungaling sa sarili ko na puwede pa naman tayo, nagbabakasakaling oo kahit sigurado nang hindi.

Alam mo bang ang tanga ko?
Ang tanga ko kasi pagkatapos kong ibuhos ang buong pagmamahal ko sa'yo, wala din namang babalik sa akin.
Ang tanga ko kasi umasa ako kahit wala nang pag-asa.
Ang tanga ko kasi kahit alam kong mali na, nagpupumilit pa rin ako.
Eh ano'ng magagawa ko?
Mahal kita eh. Tanga ako pero nagmamahal. Ah... nagmamahal ako pero tanga!

Alam mo bang mahal kita?
Mahal kita pero hindi ko na lang ipinaparamdam sa'yo kasi 'di pwede.
Mahal kita pero ako ang nasasaktan kaya 'wag na lang.
Mahal kita pero paano ko nga bang kakalabanin ang Diyos? Eh tinawag ka Niya! Sino ba naman ako? Lugi ako! Lugi. Diyos ba naman ang karibal ko!

Alam mo bang ang tapang ko?
Ang tapang ko kasi hindi kita inaagaw kahit gustong gusto ko na!
Ang tapang ko kasi kinakalaban ko ang pinakamahirap kalaban sa lahat... ang sarili ko! Hindi ko naman kalaban ang Diyos. Karibal ko lang Siya.
Ang tapang ko kasi kahit ang sakit-sakit na, kinakaya ko; kahit nagiging tanga na, tinatanggap ko; kahit mahal na mahal na mahal kita, ipinauubaya ko... ikaw.
Kahit hinang-hina na ako, nagpapakatatag pa rin
Para sa'yo...
At para sa...
Diyos mo.

Alam mo ba
Na ang sakit-sakit na
At ang tanga-tanga ko na
sa pagpupumiglas ko sa damdamin ko para sa'yo?
Alam mo ba
Na mahal na mahal kita
Pero ang tapang-tapang ko
Dahil kinakaya ko ang hirap na dulot ng pag-ibig nating bawal.

Alam mo ba? Bawal.

I love...

by roar


I love you.

But now I miss you.
I want to sit beside you
And spend some quiet moment with you.

I miss you
And the stories that you share
While I remain silent.
I simply blankly stare at you.
I don't need to open my mouth
For I only need to open my ears while you spontaneously speak
And express your anxieties
And frustrations
And disappointments
And anger
And insecurities.
My attentive ears, I guess,
Make you fall for me.

I miss the times
When you hold my hands
And I want to let go
For I can't be too brave
To squeeze your lovely hands for too long.
Then you twist yours
Bringing me up to cloud nine.
I am in contact with you longer than the usual handshake.
Then...
You seem to be unsatisfied still.
You clutch my fingers longer
And my hands now really want to let go
For I shrink at the thought
That we're holding on to each other:
Your hand holding on to mine
My heart holding on to you.
I hold you,
Nay, you hold me
Three times longer than the usual handshake.
I must be in seventh heaven!

I love you.
And I miss you.
But after all we've been through
We're never the same again.
How I wish we can go back
To the times we understand each other.
For now, I need this moment.
I need this space.
You have hurt me so much
And you continue to hurt me.
How shameful of you!
I always care about you.
I am always there for you.
I consistently catch you when you fall.
I give you too much.
But you drag me down.
You make me believe we're good
But we're otherwise.
You shout every cuss word you can think of
Beating and slashing my fragile heart.

I miss you but
I must be at peace...
Alone.

I love you.
And I miss you.
But I must love myself too.
I have to love myself too.
Please let me love myself too.

I need to respect myself.
For if I didn't, who will?
I am letting go now
Of your hand
I am letting go now
Of my heart.

I love you.
And I miss you.
But good bye.
I love myself too.